Brooms, Bibles and Other Gifts for Graduates

Reply

Graduation season is here. With a new round of graduations comes a new round of buying gifts.

I don’t like buying gifts. It’s not that I don’t want to recognize special days with presents, it’s just that I don’t want to go out and buy anything—for any reason.  Here’s the problem: there are too many options.  I can waste huge amounts of time searching for the right gift that will be opened, immediately appreciated, and then quickly forgotten. It all seems very futile.

This is why I’m a big advocate of giving cash to grads. It makes them happy. It connects me in a tangible way to their celebration. And it’s always the right size.

Kristi is not a fan of the cash only plan. She actually enjoys getting the special people in our lives gifts that reflect the depth of our relationship with them and a certain amount of familiarity with their hopes, goals, personal tastes, and achievements.

I think cash does the same thing.

But if I were going to get gifts for this year’s graduates, here is a list of what they would be….

An Alarm Clock

The success of anyone in the graduating class of 2013 is only slightly determined by their IQ, their GPA, or whether their degree is a BA, BS, MBA, PhD or GED. Their success will be largely determined by their ability to show up. You can’t show up if you don’t wake up.

If you want to succeed, show up.  If you want to advance, show up on time. If you want to get ahead, show up early.

A Pocket Notebook

Please don’t think I’m cheap for including this. In my life, pocket notebooks have saved me thousands of hours of frustration. I keep my to do lists, my grocery lists, and an occasionally captured good idea in the cheap notebooks I carry around. A 25 cent notebook and a 10 cent pencil can multiply any person’s ability to complete tasks and retrieve valuable information.

A Day Planner 

Having a day planner implies that some planning must take place. This gift pairs nicely with the Alarm Clock mentioned above.  I can’t stress enough the importance of keeping appointments.  Though missing a meeting or failing to show up at an appointment is not immoral or criminal, there are few things outside of the realm of immoral and criminal that will make you lose credibility faster being a no-show.

Besides keeping a record of where you are supposed to be and when you are supposed to be there, the day planner forces a person to prioritize.  There are only so many hours in a day.  One of the best things that can be done before going to bed at night is to decide what to do the next day.  When we wake up to a blank schedule, we find ourselves getting caught up in doing whatever grabs our attention first, regardless of how meaningful or important it may be.

The day planner allows for the most important things in a person’s life to have priority.  When we schedule time for family, God, and friendships, those things get tended to.  When we don’t plan for what’s most important, we bounce around from crisis to crisis, putting off those things we know we should do, until at the end of the day/week/month, we’ve wasted all of our time and energy and have nothing to show for it.

A Pocketknife

A pocketknife turns its bearer into an instant engineer. A pocketknife says, “I can survive.” When the zombie apocalypse comes, 9 out of 10 survivors are going to be carrying pocketknives.

A pocketknife makes you resourceful. Grads are going to find themselves in situations their education and training have not prepared them for. They are going to have to use their creativity to carve their way out of some problems.  A pocketknife and a little creativity is the training ground for learning how to excel in a world of chaos and change.

A Compass

In this age of GPS navigation and Mapquest, what in the world would a graduate need with a compass?  I think everyone needs something in their life that points to true north. Where you are is not nearly as important as where you are going.

Every graduate will need to remember there are constants in life.  God is constant.  His love for us never wanes.  Having an inner compass that always points to God will serve every graduate well.  Giving your graduate a connection to their ultimate purpose and destiny, the telos of their existence, will allow them to navigate the ambiguity of life with a sense of purpose.

A Bible

You knew I would be getting around to this. Everyone needs a Bible to keep them grounded in God.

In a very practical sense, the Bible reminds us that we don’t have to make things up as we go. It supplies us with purpose, meaning and significance. It sharpens the needle of our inner compass. It fills our imagination with the possibilities of the Kingdom of God. Through good and continual use, it transforms our lowly lives into the image of the glorious life of the Son of God.

Go ahead, get them a Bible, and pray they read it.

A Broom

To graduate is to be catapulted to the bottom of life’s next ladder. Being on the bottom of the ladder usually involves taking orders and doing things other people don’t want to do.  This may include, but is not limited to, sweeping.

Graduates, embrace your broom. The sweeping years are the incubator for the leadership years. The best leaders never lose touch with their broom pushing days.  The moment a person becomes too good to pick up a broom, they’ve lost their ability to be a great leader.

A Comb

If the graduate you are considering buying a gift for is already independently wealthy and lives on a private island, skip buying the comb. But, if they are part of the 99.999% of the rest of humanity, they will have to adopt certain social graces that connect them other people.  A comb—and maybe a toothbrush and some deodorant—will give them the foundation for successful human interactions.

I’m not saying you have to be a model to succeed.  Far from it.  I will say to every graduate, “Look like you take your job and yourself seriously.”  It does not matter what job you may take, you are representing the person who hired you. Be groomed and clean. It makes an immediate positive impression on the people you will meet.

 

This is not an exhaustive list, but a smattering of personal thoughts about the things that have benefited me the most since graduation.

If you are reading this and really considering any of the above items for any of the graduates in your life, just know they will appreciate your gift more as long as it is accompanied by cash!

Congratulations 2013 Graduates and Congratulations to the people who supported you!

 

Never Be Trapped Again

Reply

You’re never trapped when you know the code.

I learned this the other day when I went to a nursing home to call on one of our church members.  Getting into the facility was easy.  You push a big green button on the outside of the door, you wait to hear a little click, and you pull on the door open.  Pretty simple.

I made my visit and returned to the door I used to enter the building.  This time there was no big green button to push.  There was a keypad with 4 rows of 3 keys, 12 keys in all, just like the keypad on your telephone with both numbers and letters.  I ignored it at first.

I figured the door would just open.  It didn’t.

I pushed a little harder, hoping that it would budge at my insistence.  It didn’t.

Just to make sure I wasn’t a total idiot, I pulled.  It didn’t move.

I looked back and the keypad.  I studied it.  I pondered my situation.  I heard a voice from somewhere behind me.

I turned and saw a man sitting on a couch.  He was a resident at the nursing home.  He repeated himself.  Though I heard him better, I still did not understand what he was saying.

He got up from where he was sitting, looked at me with a smile, and said, “The Code.  You have to push in the code.”

He then began to type in the correct numbers in the correct order followed by the pound (#) sign. There was a click, and then he opened the door.  I was free.  My confusion was gone.  I thanked the man.  He nodded.  I left.

You have to know the code to find freedom.

I don’t remember the code he entered, but I started thinking about a good code to use the next time I found myself trapped.  I hope it will be good for you, too.

Try this code  5-3-7-8-7-#.  Go ahead.  Type it out on your phone.  Get used to it.  Practice it.  Practice it every day so that you can know it by heart, so you won’t have to think about it when the time comes.  Learn it well.  5-3-7-8-7-#.  5-3-7-8-7-#. 5-3-7-8-7-#. J-E-S-U-S-#.  J-E-S-U-S-#.  J-E-S-U-S-#.

As long as I have the code, I’m going to be alright, even if the door doesn’t open.

That code worked for the two men we are looking at in worship this Sunday.  Their names were Paul and Silas.  Their crime—freeing a girl from demon possession.  How’s that a crime?  You’ll have to show up on Sunday to find out.

There were beaten, imprisoned and awaiting trial.  Their day had gone incredibly bad.  But at the end of the day, at the midnight hour, instead of licking their wounds or lamenting their fate, we find them praying and singing hymns.

They were practicing the code.

J-E-S-U-S-#.

While they were singing, and praying, and trusting and believing, the earth shook and the doors to the prison cells opened.

The jailer rushed in.  When he saw the doors swinging, he pulled out his sword to end his life.

The jailer did not know the code.

J-E-S-U-S-#.

Paul, seeing what was about to happen, yelled to the jailer and stopped him.

“We’re all here,” Paul said.  “We’ve not gone anywhere!”

The doors were open, why didn’t they go?  The path was cleared.  Why did they stick around?

The jailer ran into the cell where Paul and Silas had been singing.  He fell at their feet and begged them, “What must I do to be saved?”

J-E-S-U-S-#

Paul gave him the code.  “Believe in the Lord Jesus and be saved.”

J-E-S-U-S-#

The code.  Those who have it are always free.  Those who don’t are always in bondage.

Whose Monkey Are You?

1

Forgive me if you’ve heard this one before. It was a favorite story of my maternal grandmother, Lala.

A woman carrying her baby got on a bus. As she paid her fare, the bus driver remarked, “Lady, that’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen.”

Though hurt, she brushed off the comment, and found a seat all to herself. She held her baby tight and tried to forget about the driver’s comment.

At the next stop, a drunk got on the bus. He stumbled down the aisle and plopped down in the seat opposite the woman. After taking a swig from his flask, he looked around at the other passengers and his eyes lit on the woman and her baby.

He blinked hard twice and said with a slur, “Geez, lady, that’s the ugliest darn baby I’ve ever seen!”

She slid over from the aisle to the window, trying to avoid the drunk, the driver, and the tears forming in her eyes.

“Whoa,” the drunk shouted. “If that baby ain’t ugly, it will do till ugly get’s here!”

She couldn’t take any more of this. At the next stop, well before her destination, she rushed off the bus. She was left standing on the street corner, sobbing, as the bus drove away.

A gentleman came over, trying to console her.

“What’s the matter, lady? What happened?” he asked. “You wait here. I’ll be right back.”

He was gone for just a second. He ran into a store and when he came out he handed her a cup of water.

“Now, now. Stop crying. It can’t be that bad. Drink some of this water,” he said. “Oh yeah, I almost forgot. Here’s a banana…….for your MONKEY.”

I can’t count how many times I heard that joke. I guess I heard it enough to appreciate one thing: You’re Always Somebody’s Monkey, No Matter How Ugly You Get.

Mother’s Day is a good day to celebrate the one who loved you even when you were Monkey Ugly!

Who Ya Gonna Call?

Reply

The challenges people faced 2000 years ago are the same ones we face today. There are always some lessons that come from the examples left by “saints of old.” Consider a verse from the story we will look at this Sunday (Acts 9:37). In Acts 9, a disciple named Tabitha died. Those who were close to her sent urgently for the Apostle Peter, for he was in the area.

When you suffer tragedies and setbacks, who are the ones you urgently send for? Who do you call to pick you up when life knocks you down? Who is standing in your corner when you’re hurt?

When you’re counting your blessings tonight, remember those people by name. God put them in your life to make the bad times bearable and the good times more enjoyable.

The Sequester, Cooking Schnauzers, and Eating Honey Buns

1

It’s going to happen tonight.  I hope you have prepared for the worst.  It’s not too late to go to the hardware store and purchase the supplies that will insure your survival.  May I suggest you stock up on duct tape, aluminum foil, and Honey Buns.

Why duct tape?  That’s a dumb question.  Give me a roll of duct tape and a Swiss Army Knife and I could start a survival reality show.  Duct tape should be at the top of every survivalist’s list.

Aluminum foil?  Duh!  To make head coverings so aliens can’t track and/or control your brain waves.

Honey Buns?  Come on…fried carbohydrates slathered in sweet frosting .  Even if you don’t survive the looming destruction, you might as well be happy. OK, you might not be able to find these at every hardware store.

So what’s about to happen?

The Sequester!!!

How will you know the sequester has taken place?

That’s why I’m writing this.  Through my careful study of the subject, combined with an acute ability to predict when seemingly catastrophic events are going to happen, I’m hoping to offer you the best chance of suffering the sequester with as little discomfort as possible.

Over the past half hour, I have carefully gleaned from the best journalism in America.  I have scoured the most credible internet sources of information (including, but not limited to, the Alaskan Dispatch and the Washington Post) for insight into the tragedies that await us.

I have even brought my acute powers of perception to bear upon this subject.  How acute are they?  Consider this: Earlier this past month, in a moment of prophetic genius, I predicted the power outage during the 3rd quarter of the Super Bowl (just ask my good friend Aron).  It is with the same weight of that rare, innate ability that I make these predictions today so that you may know the horrors of what we are about to experience.

Tonight at midnight, $85 billion in government spending cuts will go into effect.  That’s BILLIONS my friends.  If you were to lay 85 billion $1 bills end to end…. well, they would go a very long way and you would be extremely impressed by how much money that is.  I kid you, not!

According to my research….

  • As the clock strikes 12 tonight, planes all over the country will fall out of the skies because air traffic controllers will mysteriously vanish.

 

  • What little military capability we have left will be mustered to fend off a full on assault of aggressively expanding countries like Malta and Monaco.

 

  • The decimated defense expenditures will have a devastating consequence upon a predicted 800,000 civilian workers.  That’s roughly the population of South Dakota.  (It’s not that they are going to lose their jobs or anything but they may be forced to do 20% less work.)

 

  • Polar bears and other cute animals that can kill humans without even breaking a sweat may be pushed over the brink of extinction because zoos all across Washington D.C. will no longer have access to crazy, ridiculous, and obscene amounts of public money.

 

  • Children will be seen brazenly running the streets with MEGA HUGE GULP 44 oz containers of soda. This was probably going to happen anyway, even in New York.

 

  • People will resort to killing and cooking household pets because meat will no longer be a luxury we can buy at the supermarket once government paid meat inspectors lose their jobs.

Are these days we really want to suffer?  Care we endure the indignity?

Is there another way?  Is there any hope for our impoverished land?

How can we survive?  How can we prevent the imminent dread from defeating us?

Here’s what I’m going to do:

  1. I’m going to wake up tomorrow morning resolved to be a little less dependent upon Uncle Sam.  Uncle Sam and I have a much healthier relationship when he needs me more than I need him.  It’s when those roles are reversed that we find ourselves in real trouble.
  2. I’m going to think about God when I eat my Honey Bun.  For 40 years he provided honey bun type stuff, or manna, to his children in desert so they would learn where their blessing and  their sustenance came from.  After I finish my Honey Bun, I’m going to keep my eyes open and see what other blessings I can find that come from the hand of God.  If you don’t think about God when you eat your Honey Buns, then maybe you will after you see this video.

Maybe after a few weeks of suffering the sequester, we can get cozy with the idea of trusting God more, and everything else a little less.  If a 2.4% cut in government spending can teach us that, then we’re liable to be 100% better off in the long run.

Fiscal Cliff or Spiritual Stairway

5

We fell off the cliff last night.  Perhaps we are still falling since I don’t recall hearing a loud thud that normally accompanies hard landings.   The way the news agencies reported it (23.7 hours per day for the past 31 days), you would have thought “jack booted” thugs were going to show up on every wage earners’ doorstep at dawn this morning demanding cash, candy, and everyone’s black-eyed peas since there was no hope of good fortune in the New Year.

So, we are still falling toward an uncertain economic ground, bracing our wallets for the impact of higher taxes, less government spending, and all the while enduring a fresh round of the blame game between Republicans and Democrats.  A great way to welcome in 2013!

I’ve chosen to tune out the news stations who are reporting incessantly on the legislative quagmire in Washington.  With all of the time this has freed up, I’m going to start focusing on something I can encourage people to avoid:  Stumbling Down The Spiritual Stairway.

You won’t hear about the Spiritual Stairway on Fox or CNN or MSNBC today.  It will not make the headlines on major newspapers or web news agencies.  In fact, this article might be the only place you will see the Spiritual Stairway mentioned.  But mentioned it needs to be!

I’m in the process of developing comprehensive strategy to personally avoid this stumble and to prevent as many of my friends, family members, and neighbors from the avoidable agony of spiritual missteps.

I’m not going to articulate the strategy fully in this post, but it will be a recurring theme in future posts, Sunday morning messages, and touched on in various other forms throughout 2013.  I hope you will join me for the journey.

Happy New Year!

Stay focused on what’s most important.

I have to go answer the door.  I think we have visitors.

Thankful for Homemade Food!

1

I brought a scented candle to my office.  It makes my office more than a place of study, counseling and business.  Right now I’m burning “Warm Crackling Campfire.”  It smells like the Christmas season with its spices and pies and goodies coming from the oven.

Kristi made cookies this week.  The aroma is better than any candle I could buy.  There is only one word to describe the way our house smells when Kristi has been making cookies: INTOXICATING.  That’s a dangerous word for a Baptist preacher to experience.  We are supposed to be against those intoxicating things, but I might trade my convictions for the sake of that homemade cookie smell.

I’ve not found a cookie in the store that can compare to the cookies Kristi bakes.  There are some good ones on the shelves.  Those bags and boxes from the store will have the calories that are necessary to make a good cookie, but there is a missing ingredient.  For lack of better terms, I’ll call it a soul.  They have no soul because you can’t smell them before you can eat them.  When you open the bag, it’s sterile.  No whiff of fresh-baked-goodness hits your nostrils.

What gives Kristi’s cookies a soul?  Time and Love.  That’s what goes into any offering that comes fresh from the over, or hot off the stove.  On any given night we could easily call for pizza or grab a burger from the drive through window, but that doesn’t say, “I love you.”  Putting in the time to make something from scratch says, “I love you.”  Taking something hot out of the oven says, “I love you.”  Eating comfort food with the people dearest to your heart says, “I love you.”

What’s your favorite scent to come home to?  What memories do these things bring back to your mind?  Who do you remember as these smells conjure up old times?

God is great, God is good.  Let us thank him for our food.  By his hands we all are fed.  Thank you Lord for Daily Bread.

God did a good thing by giving us a sense of smell.  He did a better thing by making homemade food emit an aroma that stokes the cravings for that which sustains us, body and soul.

Lord, thank you for all the ways you have designed for love to reach us. Thank you for touch that comforts, for sounds that sooth, for sights that inspire, and today, for smell and taste that remind us of another’s love for us. 

Thanksgiving in Failure

1

I was thinking about failure today.  It’s hard to be thankful in light of failure but I think it’s necessary to try to find the spiritual fruit even in the garbage heap of life.

In looking for the fruit I have decided that I’m not thankful for failure itself.  In fact I’m very much against it.  What I am thankful for is that I’ve learned there is life after failure.

Just like in any race, we race to win.  Failing keeps us from achieving the goals we set for ourselves, reaching the finish line we were striving for, and from becoming the person we want to be.  I’ve realized that most falls are not fatal, and most failures are not the final indictments upon our lives.

One thing I have noticed about times when people have fallen, or when they have failed, is that there is usually someone nearby to help them up.  A friend makes all the difference in the world when you’ve fallen and when you’ve failed.

We recover from failure the same way we recover from falling.  Someone comes to us, picks us up, supports us, and speaks kind words of reassurance.  If it weren’t for these people in our lives, more falls would be fatal and more failures would be permanent.  With the right people in our lives, we can survive just about anything.  Without them, just about everything would be the death of us.

Who in your life picks you up and brushes you off?  Who holds you up emotionally and reminds you everything will be OK.  Who tells you that life goes on and encourages you to catch up with it?

Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor.  For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up.

Lord, your grace proves there is life after failure and a future after a fall.  Make us to be the kind of person that lends a hand to the downcast, the downtrodden, and the down-and-out.  Let us be today for someone else the kind of person we will need in our own life when we have suffered failure and defeat. 

God Bless America….

1

I don’t have control over who is elected today, but I have a voice.  If I don’t use my voice I lose my influence.  Today, I am thankful for the right to cast my ballot, exercise my right as an American, and contribute to the process of democracy.

Do you want to keep democracy alive, then engage in the primary democratic activity in our land: Vote.

This is the 5th presidential election I’ve voted in.  I’ve been on the side of the winner sometimes, and I’ve been on the losing side as well.  My voice may not be strong enough to control the election, but it can still contribute to the democratic process.

As you vote, you are casting  ballots for more than the president, the congressman, the judge or the tax assessor.  Regardless of who you are voting for, by the act of voting, you are voting against tyranny.  You are voting against the death of democracy.  You are voting against the demise of freedom.

God bless America, land that I love.  Stand beside her, and guide her, through the night with a light from above.

Hurray for Payday!

2

It happens twice a month.  I pick it up at the secretary’s office.  It has my name on it.  It is the reward for service.  It makes me feel good.  It puts food on the table, a roof over our heads, and gas in our cars.  It’s gone before I know it, but it’s always a joy when I get it.

I’m talking, of course, about my paycheck.  I hope you get one, too.  I’ve been getting one in various forms for about 20 years.  As a teenager I got one from working for my Grandpa Burden’s ranch.  At the end of the week he would write out a check from his binder sized check register.  I was making $5 an hour but was probably only worth $2, and on some reckless weeks I’m sure I cost him more than I was worth to keep around.  But he was faithful in spite of my youth.  His checks were customized with a big Santa Gertrudis bull in the corner.  These were the prize of my week.  I felt rich when I had a week’s worth of pay in the palm of my hand.

At his day thou shalt give him his hire.

If you’re getting a check, be thankful.  Be thankful for the capacity to work.  Be thankful for the health to get around.  Be thankful for the creativity and the intelligence to be useful.  If you are paying yourself, be thankful for the opportunities you have.  Be thankful for the skills that make you a resource to others.  Be thankful for the freedom to set your own schedule.

But remember the LORD your God, for it is he who gives you the ability to produce wealth.

Savor your reward.  Keep as much of it as you can.  Enjoy as much of it as you can.  Give away as much of it as you can.  Be as responsible with it as you can.  Share as much as you can.  Invest as much as you can.  Commit yourself to working just as hard, if not harder, the next week or month to earn your next reward.

Lord, we thank you not only for the bread upon the table, but also for the ability to put bread upon our tables.